Sloths Put To Shame…
The way I spent this weekend would make a sloth say, “da faq, why you so lazy”. I had a bunch of things that had to be taken care of this weekend. A checklist itching to get ticked off and what do I do? I spend the whole weekend absolutely doing nothing. Nothing productive that is.
I Want But I Don’t Really Want It I Guess
It’s not that I like to be where I am. I am not exactly happy with the current situation and I have the drive and the motivation to do better, be better. Most of the times I am. I do shit that I think will get me out of this shitty situation but when only when it matters the most. Who I am right now is exactly what I have been all my life. Major Procrastinator. I knew exams were due in a couple of weeks but I’d always open the books the night before. I know the homework has to be done but doing it right before school starts was the perfect moment.
It is no wonder that when I look back I don’t recollect a single instance of me actually getting something done. What does that tell me about myself? I only want it when I really needed it. It’s like I forget when it’s all sunshine and rainbow and remember that roof needs to be fixed when it rains and I curse myself for not having the roof fixed earlier when I had the time.
Maybe Mediocrity Is What I am Looking For
Over the years I’ve realized that there is no such thing as being perfect. At each point in time what you want and wish for changes. At least what I want changes. There is no consistency in what I want and therefore it’s no surprise that I have never been consistent on a single task. At least not any that I can recollect. Maybe mediocrity is what I am looking for. It could that I am lazy and don’t want to put in the effort to take the second step. Maybe it’s the fear of failure. Hey If you don’t try you will never fail right? Maybe what I am scared of is giving it a hundred percent and failing.